


How to Say Goodbye

by Biggest_Oof



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Angst, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Guilt, anakin doesn’t fall, buckle up kids it’s a rough one, but it’s still sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29237070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biggest_Oof/pseuds/Biggest_Oof
Summary: Ahsoka never thought she would have to say goodbye so soon. And now that’s she’s here, sitting vigil next to Anakin’s hospital bed, she realizes she doesn’t know how.Anakin defeats Palpatine, but not without a cost. His family braces for impact, waiting in the face of the inevitable.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 13
Kudos: 128





	How to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> tw: burns, hospitals, giving birth

It’s when they’re heading back to Coruscant that Ahsoka feels it.

There’s a tugging in the back of her mind, a familiar presence surrounding her, prodding at a bond long dormant. Ahsoka’s been having a rough day, a rough year to be honest, and to feel that comfort of a former Master is pleasing, if concerning.

Something is wrong. She’s been having headaches for days, the Force pulsing around her in warning, and now that Skyguy is calling to her, Ahsoka knows everything is about to change.

“I love you so much, Snips. Always remember that.” Anakin's voice tells her, pained and so scared, and it feels like he’s saying goodbye. Ahsoka calls back to him, “Master? What’s going on?”, but he doesn’t answer, bond gone dead silent.

She turns to Rex, who looks just as shaken as her. Anakin probably called to him too, even though Rex wouldn’t know the Force if it shot him. Skyguy never cared about limitations, and if anyone could communicate to a clone, it’d be The Chosen One.

“We need to call Obi-Wan, immediately.” Ahsoka starts to set up the com, praying that this was all just a prank, that Skyguy is okay, he has to be.

Pain shoots through her body, crackling and fierce.

She knows Anakin is hurting, that he must be too weak to keep up his shields, it’s his pain, he’s dying. Ahsoka doubles over, wave after wave of emotions flowing through her, long minutes of agony, until finally they just… evaporate.

There’s an audible snap in her brain as the training bond severs.

A training bond only unintentionally severs when one member of it dies.

Come on, Obi-Wan, pick up, pick up….

“Ahsoka?”

Obi-Wan looks disheveled, dirt and blood caked on his face, tears in his eyes. He’s on a ship, trembling in a passenger bay.

“Obi-Wan! Did you feel that, please tell me you didn’t-”

“I felt it, young one. He said goodbye to me too. I think…”

No, no, no, Anakin isn’t, he can’t be…

“I think Anakin may be joining the Force today.” At this, Obi-Wan’s tears flood his expression, streaking clear trails through the gunk.

They need to get to Coruscant, and now. Ahsoka holds back her tears, tells Obi-Wan her ETA, and gets ready to break speed and sound barriers.

Skyguy needs them.

-

Obi-Wan is there when Ahsoka touches down. He’s cleaned up, new robes and hair brushed back. His face, though, still misses the infamous serene expression, and his hands hold a minute tremble.

He hugs both Ahsoka and Rex when they stumble off of the landing platform, in a gesture so out of character that she wants to scream. They walk through the temple, which is a sight in itself. Carnage at every corner, white sheets covering bodies, echoes of screams resounding in the Force.

Obi-Wan informs them of the situation, showing holotapes that leave nothing to the imagination. What they hear and see… it isn’t good.

“The Chancellor… he was Sidious. He’s been manipulating this entire war on both fronts, setting up a new empire. One devoid of Jedi. His plan- his plan was to turn Anakin, take him on as his apprentice. The clones were chipped with control mechanisms, and would've killed all Jedi on sight at Sidious’s command. We’d have been wiped out but Anakin… he saved us.”

The story is horrifying. Palpatine had confessed everything to Anakin, goading her Master, using everyone he loved as bait. When he informed the Council, Masters Tiin, Windu, Kolar, and Fisto went to apprehend Palpatine. They left Anakin with orders to stay put in the chambers.

Only Mace Windu survived the initial attack.

Anakin, who’d never seen an order he wouldn’t disobey, had gone to the scene, finding Sidious cornered and blasting lightning at Windu, who was just barely holding on. They had screamed at him, begging to choose, their side preferably. Sidious had dripped venom from his teeth, digging into Skyguy’s deepest insecurities.

Anakin had closed his eyes, drawn a deep breath, and went to attack Sidious.

Mace had finally succumbed, stamina sapped from his body, collapsing as her Master engaged Sidious. It was a bloody battle, one that left Anakin bleeding out, electrocuted, and sporting a lightsaber wound to the chest.

Somehow Sidious was even worse for wear, but that was Skyguy; beating impossible odds and doing it in the most reckless way possible.

But then, but then, but then…

As the Sith drew his last breaths, he had grinned, feral, and spoke into a com. With glee in his eyes, Sidious told Commander Fox to execute ‘Order 66’.

It was over soon enough. Sidious died, and Anakin used his last energy reserves to call off the attack. Hundreds still died, and Ahsoka shudders to think of her battalion, how they must have been coming for her, before closing off that line of thought.

She ignores the fact that the bodies in the temple were small, like younglings.

Obi-Wan breaks the news as gently as he can. Anakin is in critical condition, his heart has stopped three different times, and the look in the old Master’s eyes tells her that Skyguy is drawing his final breaths.

They arrive at the Halls of Healing, which is jam packed full of troopers and Jedi alike. Sobs echo through the passages, clones begging for mercy, holding their heads in their hands, traumatized younglings clinging to any stray orderly they can get their hands on.

Windu greets them from his hospital bed, worn and eyes red rimmed. His hands are shaking, burns racing up his arms. Palpatine got him good.

It’s weird to think that this could be so much worse.

“Where is he?”

“They’re… making him comfortable.” Windu hesitates. “Obi-Wan- they don’t think Skywalker is going to make it.”

Rex visibly crumples. Ahsoka knows her face doesn’t look much better, feels hot tears streaking down her face. Obi-Wan looks like his entire world has shattered.

To know it is one thing, they’d all been preparing for it, but to hear it is so much worse than she ever could have imagined.

“I… could we- could we see him?”

“If you can get past the swarm of medics, sure.” Mace pauses, an uncharacteristic sadness dawning his features. Anakin is (was? Ahsoka can’t be sure) not always the most popular with Council members, but he is (was?) kind, a good man, if not always a good Jedi. The thought of the world without that presence is hurting everyone.

Her Master’s been given one of the private rooms. Clones from the 501st line the doorways, holding vigil for their General. Rex nods at them as he goes, muttering to his brothers, crouching before them. Some of them bear gashes and bruises, and there are far less men here then there should be. The clones will never be the same after tonight, and Ahsoka wants to scream and rage about how unfair all of this is.

Eventually, they reach the room.

The first thing she notices is Padme. The composure she’s known for is absent, replaced by a deep resolve and sorrow. Padme is one of the strongest people Ahsoka knows, if not the strongest, so to see her like this shakes her.

It’s then that Ahsoka’s eyes draw to her Master. Healer Che had explained that they hadn’t attempted to put him in bacta, that Anakin has been wheeled in and out of surgeries, apparently, so there’s been no time for a dip in a tank. And, even though they don’t want to admit it, the doctors have lost hope.

Skyguy is swallowed by bandages. A tube is snaking down his throat, several more resting in the crook of his flesh arm. Infection and acrid smells surround him in the Force, and what little skin Ahsoka can see is sickly pale.

Burns like Master Windu’s peek out from under the gauze, like ghastly vines from a forgotten temple. The prosthetic arm is gone, probably destroyed by the intensity of the lightning. His hair, his beautiful hair, is partly shaved so that a catheter can force itself into his skull. Anakin looks dead already, chest barely rising with the forced breaths of a breathing apparatus.

Padme gives her a tired smile, a tear slipping down her elegant cheekbone. Obi-Wan stares blankly ahead at his Padawan, everything in his body language bland, but Ahsoka still hears the anger and guilt that rages through his Force presence.

Rex, who’s been desperately clinging to his stoic facade until now, breaks. They’ve all lost so much tonight, but Rex nearly lost his autonomy, his life, his personality. Had it not been for Anakin, he would have. Rex already lost thousands of brothers to a chip they couldn’t control, and now his Jedi lays prone on a bed, drawing in his last moments after saving all of them.

He bursts into tears, sobs racking his body, murmuring to himself,and Ahsoka watches helplessly, knowing that nothing can fix this, it just has to hurt.

The room is a morgue, and they are all corpses in the face of tragedy, rotting in different ways.

Ahsoka collapses into an uncomfortable chair, buries her head in her hands, shutting everything out, prepares for what seems to be an inevitable. Right now, there is no war, there are no clones, no Jedi, no senator with a huge baby bump.  
Right now there is Ahsoka, and she is mourning for a man who is still alive.

-

They had once gotten trapped on a desert planet.

It had been early in their Master-Padawan relationship, but it didn’t feel like it most days. Anakin had a way of pulling everything and everyone around him into his orbit, a vivacious personality that made you want to know him. Every mission with him was nerve wracking, reckless, and somehow, fun.

This mission wasn’t fun. A neutral planet on the Outer Rim that had sent a distress signal to the Republic. It had been a trap, Seppie forces sweeping in and killing half of their army in one fell swoop.

The 501st was blockaded, forced to resort to trench warfare, days digging pits and firing in the waves of heat beating down on them. Anakin appeared to be the only one who could withstand the temperature.

And then, to top it all off, their food and water preserves started to dwindle.

The men had been exhausted, Ahsoka had been too, but somehow her Master made those meager rations last three weeks. Anakin had taught them how to survive a desert terrain, how to dress so that the sand and heat had less of an effect on you, how to keep your brain from thinking it was hungry or thirsty.

He taught them how to sense when a sandstorm was coming on, and how to hide when one did. He taught them that water was precious, strapping shinie’s arms to their chests with his hands when they grew crazed from dehydration.

It was Anakin who made them win that battle. The droids didn’t know what the troopers did now, had their gears and sockets overloaded with course sand and knocked over from terrible winds. When the final sandstorm abated, no droids were left on the ground.

Ahsoka will never forget how her Master told her stories before she went to sleep to distract her from the hunger pains.

Eventually their starships broke through the blockade, Obi-Wan swooping in to save the day. The men came back knowing hunger, with shell shocked faces and thinner frames, but they came back.

Anakin mothered her for the next few days. It was like watching a loth wolf and it’s cub, the way he seemed to snarl at anyone who came close to her ration bars. He trained her to slowly work back up to her original diet, hoarding packets of meat and porridge, as that was all she could stomach for a while.

Even Obi-Wan couldn’t get near Ahsoka without a wary look from Skyguy, his arm curling around her shoulders protectively. It got somewhat tiring after a week, but she dealt with it, because Anakin needed to make sure she was alright.

Skyguy didn’t talk about his past a lot, or at all. Ahsoka knew some things; he grew up on Tatooine with his mother, he had no father, Basic was his third language, and that at one point, he was sold into slavery.

So Ahsoka knew that the mission had hurt Anakin, and that was with the scraps of information she had. Tatooine was known for its scummy inhabitants, known for cruelty and a harsh desert landscape.

She felt guilty that all that Anakin had suffered there was the only reason she still breathed.

Things went back to normal. They didn’t talk about it. Her Master protected her, and she protected her Master. That’s just how it was, no other explanation needed. They watched each other’s backs.

It felt right to be Skyguy and Snips, him muttering “that’s my girl” when she out maneuvered Seppies and grinning wildly when she beat him in sparring practice. He was always there for her, always guiding her, always showing her how to survive.

And Ahsoka had left him.

Sometimes, she wishes that they had never left that desert. If only to prevent the pain of their current situation, one where the Padawan left in greed and the Master was struck down in self-sacrifice. 

Sometimes, Ahsoka wonders if Anakin died long before Palpatine struck him down, if his soul was fading long before life-support kept him in this galaxy just a little longer.

-

Padme goes into labor late in the night.

It’s terrible timing, but it seems the shitshow has carried on into a new dawn, Ahsoka muses. Besides, it’s not like Skywalkers are ever patient. 

Rex stays with Anakin, looking mildly disgusted at the thought of birthing a child, and Ahsoka can’t help but agree with him. The only reason she doesn’t stay behind is so that there’s another woman in the room.

Men are relatively useless, especially when it comes to this, and especially when the man is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Of course, Padme ends up doing all of the hard work. She rides out contractions, waits for her water to break, and all the while listens to holonews to be updated on the senatorial clusterfuck. Ahsoka might be in love.

It comes to their attention halfway through the birth that Padme is having twins. The med droid who delivers the news gets cursed out of the room by one very irritated Senator and two Force-Weilders who’s sex education was taught by Master Yoda.

Just kriffing great.

Obi-Wan looks more scared than Padme does at the prospect, hand getting crushed under her steel grip. Her water broke not one minute ago, and she pants, face scrunched in pain and holding back screams.

Ahsoka can only watch and hold her other hand, sending calming waves through the Force in a feeble attempt to quell Padme’s pain. Her friend bears down, losing the battle with her yelps, letting put panting whines as…something starts to come out.

Ahsoka wants to be sick. Obi-Wan doesn’t look much better. Padme just grinds her teeth and screams at the med droid to get on with it.

Yeah, Ahsoka might be in love.

While Padme continues to push out a baby, Ahsoka’s mind drifts to Anakin. He’d have wanted to be here, to support his wife and children. Her Master was many things, but he put those he loved first, made sure they were safe before destroying anything that had hurt them.

The idea that Skyguy isn’t here to watch his own children be brought into the world is heartbreaking. That he’ll probably never hold them, never play with them and teach them how to walk. Anakin won’t tell them stories about his culture, about Tatooine, he won’t, he won’t, he won’t..

With a final push and a trembling gasp, Luke Skywalker-Naberrie is brought into the world. Moments later, Leia Skywalker-Naberrie joins her brother. Padme collapses into Obi-Wan’s chest, exhausted. Ahsoka kind of wants to collapse too.

They switch shifts with Rex while the Senator recovers. Anakin is still dying, unknowing that his children are alive, that they’re born. The monitors beep slower than they did last time, and Ahsoka knows it’s almost time to say goodbye.

Now if only she knew how.

“It’s not your fault, you know.” Obi-Wan speaks up from his uncharacteristic slouch. “You leaving didn’t cause any of this.”

“But if I had just stayed, he wouldn’t have faced Sidious alone! He wouldn’t be here dying, while we just sit and do nothing!” She cries, hand grasping Anakin’s flesh one.

“No. You are not responsible for his actions, little one. Anakin did this for us, yes, but we’ve always known he’d do anything for his family. You leaving doesn’t change that.”

“But… I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Ahsoka whispers.

And that’s the crux of the problem, really. Her Master had begged her, begged for her to stay with him, and she hadn’t. That wasn’t necessarily her fault, it needed to happen, but when they did meet again…

She’d be cold, professional in the face of his warm familiarity. She’d told him they’d have to talk later, and Ahsoka had believed it, had really believed that they had more time.

She’d only returned for Skyguy’s resources and then left him to his doom.

Obi-Wan breaks her out of her thoughts. “I know. I didn’t get to say goodbye either. I’ve been… the Council has been hard on him, as of late. There was no time to check on Anakin, or at least that’s what I told myself. And then I asked him to spy on the Chancellor, went along with his seat on the Council while denying him title of Master, and I left him with that despicable man.”

Obi-Wan looks so sad, a streak of pearls running down his face.

“I never- I never even told him I loved him.”

“Me neither.” Ahsoka says, regret pouring from both of their presences.

Anakin had always told her, had always made sure she knew. In his last moments, he’d reached out to her, Rex, Obi-Wan and Padme and told them he loved them, and Ahsoka had never said it back, not once.

“I do love him, so much. And I just want to be able to tell him before he goes.” Obi-Wan pleads at nothing, shuddering with guilt.

“I don’t think I even know how to say goodbye. It’s never been this permanent before.”

“Oh, Ahsoka. The truth is, you never know when you’re saying goodbye. You think you have all the time in the world, and you look back and believe yourself to be stupid. So if the Force grants us one last goodbye, I think you should tell him everything you never got to say. I know I will.” Obi-Wan tells her, forlorn and downtrodden.

The twins are safe, the galaxy is safe, and now it is time to learn how to say goodbye.

-

Against all odds, they do get to say farewell.

It’s a few days later, and Ahsoka’s napping in her makeshift quarters when Rex comes barging into them, out of breath and looking like he’s seen a ghost.

“Skywalker’s awake. He wants to see you.”

They scamper through the halls, narrowly avoiding passerby, until they reach Skyguy’s room. Obi-Wan and Padme are there with the twins, and Anakin’s eyes are open and the tube is out of his mouth. 

It’s not because he’s awake, Ashoka knows. Anakin wants to see her one last time.

“Hey… Snips.” He wheezes out.

“Hey, Skyguy.”

“I… need to ask… for a… favor.”

“Of course, Master, anything.” 

“Take… care of… them.” Anakin tells her. “You’ll… need each other… all of… you.”

Ahsoka’s eyes fill with burning.

“No, Anakin, you’re going to make it out of this, I promise. We’ve been in worse situations, right? You’ll be okay, good as new soon.”

“Ahsoka… we know… that’s not true.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Ah.. soka.”

“No, please, you can’t do this to me, please.” She begs, but knows it’s futile. Her Master gives a teary smile, holds out his hand for her to take.

“I love you… so much. I’m so.. proud, Snips.”

“How can you be proud of me when I’ve failed you so miserably!”

“You haven’t… failed. Come to… shine so bright… you’re all grown… up now, little one. So… proud of you.”

“I’m sorry I never told you I loved you. I do, I love you so much, Skyguy, please don’t leave me!”

“Oh Snips… I know you love… me.” Anakin stutters to her, bringing his hand up to Ahoka’s glistening cheek. “So now… it’s time to let me go.”

Ahsoka knows his death is inevitable, can practically see it waiting outside the door frame. He knows she loves him, that they love him, and he’s proud of her. Anakin is proud of her.

“Okay.” She sniffles. “I can do that.”

“That’s… my… girl.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan speaks, vocal cords tremulous. “I just need you to know that I love you so much, and I’ll always love you even when you’re gone. I promise I’ll help with the twins, I’ll do everything I can to keep them safe. I will always love you, and I’m so sorry I’ve never said it until now.”

“Love you too… Obi.”

“I’ll miss you, General Skywalker. It’s been an honor serving with you.” Rex tells the fading Jedi, giving him a grin that Anakin gladly returns, along with another deceleration of love. Rex’s face drops at seeing how his General stakes so long to reply, and they know it’s almost time.

“And you already know I love you Ani. We’ll miss you, baby, but it’s okay. We’re going to keep moving on, I promise you.” Padme caresses the last locks of Skyguy’s hair, lip trembling but remaining steady for everyone’s sake. “Would you like to hold them before you go?”

“Please…” her Master breathes, and Luke is settled against him, joined by Leia. He looks at them like he looks at Ahsoka, and oh, he thinks of her as his daughter. It’s been so obvious, but seeing it now, she can’t help but think that this pain is one of a father dying, not a friend.

Anakin cradles his babies, breaths heaving and becoming more difficult. Eventually, the twins are taken from him, fussing as though they know what is about to happen. The beeping of the monitors gets slower, and his eyes get heavier.

Padme whispers to him, comforting even as she openly weeps, a warrior through and through.

“It’s okay to let go, Ani, we love you so much. You can go now, sweetheart, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s alright to move on. We’re here, baby, we’re here, and we’ll be here until you go.”

Anakin Skywalker takes his last breaths at 11:02 am, Coruscant Standard Time. He is surrounded by his family, and he knows he is loved.

His death rocks the Republic. His body is covered in japor snippets and burned on a Jedi pyre, his grave never going without some sort of flower or candy.

The galaxy mourns their General, remembers how kind and fearless and brave he was. Jedi Masters tell stories of Anakin as a child, how reckless and impatient and compassionate he was. How he yearned to help wherever he could.

Master Yoda speaks of how Skywalker always indulged his ramblings even hen he had somewhere to be.

Mace Windu speaks of how much he misses the annoying presence at his side that always got on his nerves and always, always made him laugh.

Rex Skywalker-Tano-Kenobi tells them of how their General always remembered their names, always helped bury their dead after a battle.

Obi-Wan Kenobi speaks of a brother, Padme Amidala speaks of a husband, Cody speaks of a rival, Berg Whiteson speaks of a lost boy, Bail Organa speaks of a savior, Kitster Chanchani Banai speaks of a best friend…

Ahsoka talks of a father, a brother, and a man who taught her how to survive and thrive.

This is how you say goodbye: allow them to go, but only with the knowledge that they are loved. Allow them to go, and when they do, remember them when others cannot.

“Did I ever tell you about the tale of Snips and Skyguy?”

“No, Auntie ‘Soka!”

“Tell us, please! All of our other stories are so boring.”

“Alright, you munchkins. Once upon a time, in a galaxy, far far away...”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I’m angsty as hell today, and I’ve decided to make it everyone’s problem :)


End file.
